The London Paper

There are quite a few free papers in London (equivalent to the Metro), which are actually quite readable. They are also very big on quoting readers’ opinions, and usually ask a question regarding a current topic and feature a page with the readers’ responses. They are fond of quoting the darkest, and most extreme. Some of my faves:

1. [Regarding some explicit anti-binge ads the British Government has run, directed toward youth] “Young people think they are invincible, so I doubt a few adverts courtesy of the Governments anti-binge drinking campaign are going to dissuade them from boozing themselves into oblivion. We need to try to educate young people to respect alcohol and not to abuse it.

The next two are from yesterday’s London Paper. Knife crime among teenagers has become a huge problem here and is getting all kinds of press. This question was regarding whether the National Service requirement should be brought in to deal with the problem. Eerily, there was a picture of Pierce Brosnan splitting right through middle of the comments, probably due to a brief, one-sentence comment on his performance in Mamma Mia…page layout, people!

2. “Regarding your question ‘Should national service be brought back to tackle knife crime?’: that’s a barking mad idea! The armed forces are already under-funded for the job they do. We can’t also expect them to become social workers.

3. “Sod national service. Bring back hanging. Why should these vile people have any human rights when they take away other people’s?” [ouch! Would this ever be quoted in a US paper?]

Regarding a recent statement by London Mayor Boris Johnson indicating that more punishment in schools would help the problem with youth violence.

4. “It’s about time someone saw sense; bring back the cane.”

Not all of the articles are dour and extreme, however. Some are quite funny. Take for example the “mobile moans” column of the London Lite Paper, another free “rag”. This is a section where readers can text in thoughts or funny things that have happened to them…and to me, as an American, reading that accent between the lines just makes it that much funnier.

5. “On train home told boss my boyfriend was in to Kama Sutra and wanted to move bedroom around. Got off train---meant Feng Shui."

6. Does Transport for London ever carry out unnecessary engineering works?

7. “I will stop applying my slap [I think she means lotion….] on the train when men stop sitting with their legs wide open. No one’s tackle is that big, boys!”